3 on 1

I've never felt more needy in my life. Most of the day I'm pretty well in control. When Ryan gets home, my tears kind of appear from nowhere. He'd never know what I've accomplished in my day by how pathetic I am by 8:30 at night when he gets home. He calmly kisses Brady, puts Leah and Logan to bed, takes the dog outside and feeds him, gives me a hug...and all this before he even eats his dinner! I've heard people explain having a 3rd kid as hard because they only have 2 hands. I'd describe it as more of a "let's gang up on mommy " type of mentality. My kids are old enough to know which buttons to push to set me over the edge...I'm still hoping they're not doing this intentionally, but rather are still adjusting to everything as Ryan and I are. Doctors appointments, soccer games and goals, nap times, visitors, paperwork, Motrin, housework, bath times, homework, board games, phone calls, diaper changes and feedings, making lunches...it's kind of a circus over here! Truly, it's a beautiful time...I'm so thankful for pictures that help me stay focused on the precious moments, even amid the chaos!

Week of Firsts

First "lay-on-your-backs-and-smile-for-mommy", picture with all 3 kids.
First outing with all 3 and only mom in charge.
First kid to take a bottle.
First baths.
First time I build 3 stacks of kid laundry!

Pretty sure this is just the beginning of a lot of fabulous firsts. God is so good to us!

My Cup Runneth Over

Ryan is super-dad. He takes the kids and dog for walks, fishing, on errands. He got up at 2:30 am to run to the pharmacy for me. And didn't complain. Mom left today and proved once again that she is a rock star. Totally unselfish with her time and resources. If I can serve my children the way she serves hers, I'll have done my job well. I may have cried a little as she left. Leah and Logan are slipping into their new roles with a baby brother...it's a big change but they're easing in well.
I'm feeling the expected exhaustion, aches and pains, and my 5 senses overwhelmed most of the day. Ryan and I got a call from our Pastor, Tom today. He said he hopes I'm getting rest, "although that's probably a fruitless desire at this point..." I'm so thankful he said that. Reminded me to stay focused on the intense joy surrounding me. Tonight we bathed Brady and Logan got to brush his hair. The 4 of us stood around crying we were laughing so hard. He was wide awake, smiling because he loved how the brush felt. I can't figure out how to load a video on here but we got one and it's precious.
My sweet family of 5. My cup runneth over.

And Baby Moose Makes 5

He's here! Here are a few pictures from our first 48 hours. What a little doll he is! Gentle little spirit, snuggle bug, and patient with his eager siblings. Hope to settle into a good groove here soon. And maybe catch a few hours of sleep at some point?

To every season

I'm enjoying my last warm bath before baby and i'm crying confused happy and transition tears as I reflect on this day, these last 7 years and the next 2 days. (Only a few of my closest girls read this blog and it is otherwise private, so this picture is ok.)
Today was my last nap with Logan. He was breathing softly next to me when I woke up. I quietly told him it was time to go get Leah and he rolled over and threw his little arm around my neck and snuggled with me. I stayed in bed for extra minutes with his warm cheek on mine. My baby no longer...my big 5 year old.
Today was my last time picking up Leah in the carline without a carseat to carry. I loved holding her hand, hearing her good news and kissing her on her sweet left cheek with her hair that smelled like school. All these years, my right hand has been for her alone. Now she's a big, big sister again.
Today I took my 2 kids to soccer practices and out to eat, having time and attention and energy for both.
I couldn't be more happy to add another sweet warm hand and squishy cheek to our crew. But I also can't help but acknowledge that this family of 4 is about to change. In a very big way.
Dear Lord, please give me your wisdom to know how to make each of these pieces of my heart feel touched, be kissed, be listened to, given eye contact, be snuggled, appropriately disciplined, encouraged and uplifted, and directed to You. Convict me to have a soft heart willing to become empty of my own desires and filled with Yours so that I can fill them up with You. Thank you for my partner, their daddy who wants all of these same things...thank you for giving him the energy and grace he needs for each day to care for his family. We believe that You keep us in the palm of Your hand and trust You to never let us go. Thank You for Your faithfulness. Lord, draw the 5 of us closer to You. In Jesus precious name I ask these things, Amen.

Springtime

The trees are budding, the ducks in our canal are pairing up. Leah wore shorts to school today and I have a pot of pink hanging flowers on my patio. (Thanks, Mom!) My windows are open, my house smells fresh and I do believe we'll have a baby this week. If we don't have a baby this week, that means we'll have a baby next week. That's pretty fabulous in itself! Blessings on your week...hopefully next time you hear from me I'll look happily sleep-deprived with a squishy little ewok in tow!